Safety tips

What to watch out for when dating — and what we do in the background

Last updated: 17 August 2026

This is a translation provided for convenience. The German version is the legally binding one; if the two differ, the German wording prevails.

1. Before the first date

• Stay in the chat until then. There is no good reason why you would have to switch to WhatsApp, Telegram or Instagram straight away. People who push for it usually want out of a place where you can report and block them.
• Take a close look at the profile. A single photo, conspicuously professional shots, no gym stated — none of that has to mean anything, but it is a reason to look more carefully. The verification tick means that we have compared a selfie taken live against the profile photos. It is an indication, not a guarantee: a visual check makes deception harder, it does not rule it out.
• Have a phone or video call before you meet.
• Tell someone who you are meeting, where and for how long. Sending a screenshot of the profile to a friend costs nothing.

2. At the date

• Meet in public — at the gym, in a café, in a park. Not at your place or the other person’s, and not somewhere only one of you knows.
• Get there and leave under your own steam. Don’t let anyone pick you up the first time, and don’t give out your address yet.
• Keep your drink and your phone with you and make sure your battery is charged.
• Drink in moderation. You want to be able to decide clearly how the evening goes on.
• Leave if it feels wrong. You owe nobody an explanation, a second round, or politeness at your own expense.

3. Spotting scams

If you are being blackmailed

• Don’t pay. Payments practically always lead to further demands.
• Break off contact, block and report the profile.
• Secure evidence: screenshots of the profile, the chat and the demand for payment.
• File a report at your nearest police station. There is no shame in it — these offenders work in an organised way and on a large scale.

4. Reporting and blocking

• Blocking takes effect immediately and both ways: the match disappears, messages are no longer possible, and you no longer see each other in the deck.
• Reporting is possible in every profile and every chat via the flag icon. You receive a reference number, we review within 72 hours — immediately where a person is at risk — and you see the outcome under “My reports” in the account area.
• Without an account, use the public reporting form at flexr.social/en/meldung.html, for example if your photos are being used here without your knowledge. There, too, you receive a reference number and a reasoned decision. Alternatively, email flexr.social@proton.me.

5. What we do

• Every photo is reviewed by a human before anyone gets to see it at all. If we reject one, we tell you why.
• Profile texts containing links, phone numbers or scam terms are never published in the first place.
• In messages we mask links and email addresses and submit conspicuous messages to moderation.
• Minimum age 18, checked server-side from the date of birth and confirmed manually against an official photo ID before activation.
• Verification via a selfie taken live plus a comparison with the ID photo — carried out by a human, without automated facial recognition. The recordings are deleted after the check.

The full rules and our protection protocols are set out in the community guidelines.

6. In an emergency